I think I'm going to start a contest for the most absurd/ironic/bizarre sentence to come out of the mouth of a human each week. I'd have to narrow it down to published sentences, just to be fair; I wouldn't want to get into any he said/she said situations.
The inaugural winner would be John Carbonaro, who found an article called "Slaughterhouse in Buffalo Wins Zoning Approval." Briefly:
- Zoning board in Buffalo unanimously approved plans for a slaughterhouse (as in, a place where chickens, goats, lambs and calves will be killed and chopped up).
- Said operation will be housed in the back of a building that has a Subway sandwich shop in the front.
- Felicia and Bobby Horton, the owners of Subway sandwich shop, are concerned about odors (presumably malodors) that could possibly come from the slaughterhouse.
Felicia Horton inquires/protests: "If they're cutting up [animals], are you going to want to come up front an eat some meat?"
Perhaps all sandwich shops should be housed in abattoirs.
PS-Note the brackets provided by the journalist. I wonder if she actually said "If they're cutting up meat . . . "
I'd guess she said cutting up "stuff" or "things", or maybe since they didn't quote her, "shit".
Posted by: greentangle | March 31, 2009 at 09:24 AM
Well here's my contribution for the most absurd/ironic/bizarre:
"To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed."
http://failblog.org/2009/03/26/meat-fail/
Posted by: Bea Elliott | March 31, 2009 at 11:58 PM
This proposed slaughterhouse is receiveing some flack from the community... Still, the man who wants to open it assures the public "I can guarantee you there will be no stench." - Jeeze! So it's "hear no evil, see no evil smell no evil"... That's the ticket!
http://www.buffalonews.com:80/cityregion/story/636707.html
Posted by: Bea Elliott | April 12, 2009 at 05:55 PM
The update is the slaughterhouse will now open in Lackawanna instead. The mayor says "People like to call this a slaughterhouse. But I call it a butcher shop, because there will be such a minuscule area where they will slaughter things."
Ah yes, nothing wrong with the slaughter of "things" now and then - especially if it brings the community some cash in the process.
http://www.buffalonews.com/258/story/790886.html
Posted by: Bea Elliott | September 10, 2009 at 11:51 PM