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On Objections to Slaughterhouses Not Sandwich Shops

I think I'm going to start a contest for the most absurd/ironic/bizarre sentence to come out of the mouth of a human each week. I'd have to narrow it down to published sentences, just to be fair; I wouldn't want to get into any he said/she said situations.

The inaugural winner would be John Carbonaro, who found an article called "Slaughterhouse in Buffalo Wins Zoning Approval." Briefly:

  • Zoning board in Buffalo unanimously approved plans for a slaughterhouse (as in, a place where chickens, goats, lambs and calves will be killed and chopped up).
  • Said operation will be housed in the back of a building that has a Subway sandwich shop in the front.
  • Felicia and Bobby Horton, the owners of Subway sandwich shop, are concerned about odors (presumably malodors) that could possibly come from the slaughterhouse.

Felicia Horton inquires/protests: "If they're cutting up [animals], are you going to want to come up front an eat some meat?"

Perhaps all sandwich shops should be housed in abattoirs.

PS-Note the brackets provided by the journalist. I wonder if she actually said "If they're cutting up meat . . . "

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. I'd guess she said cutting up "stuff" or "things", or maybe since they didn't quote her, "shit".

    March 31, 2009
  2. Well here's my contribution for the most absurd/ironic/bizarre:
    "To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed."

    March 31, 2009
  3. This proposed slaughterhouse is receiveing some flack from the community… Still, the man who wants to open it assures the public "I can guarantee you there will be no stench." – Jeeze! So it's "hear no evil, see no evil smell no evil"… That's the ticket!

    April 12, 2009
  4. The update is the slaughterhouse will now open in Lackawanna instead. The mayor says "People like to call this a slaughterhouse. But I call it a butcher shop, because there will be such a minuscule area where they will slaughter things."

    Ah yes, nothing wrong with the slaughter of "things" now and then – especially if it brings the community some cash in the process.

    September 10, 2009

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